Nipples On A Man

That perfectly describes Shelley Duncan.

Why do men have nipples? Why do the Yankees have Shelley Duncan? The answer to those questions is simple: Nobody Knows.

What purpose do nipples serve on a man? What purpose does Shelley Duncan serve on the Yankees? The answer to those questions is simple: None.

Nipples on a man are ugly. Shelley Duncan is ugly.

I can go on about this all day and night. The fact of the matter is Shelley Duncan is totally useless. While I appreciate the energy, the spark, and the excitement he brought to the 2007 Yankees with his July call-up from AAA, his anemic start to this season cannot be ignored:

.175 AVG | .262 OBP | .281 SLG | .542 OPS

1 Homerun and 6 RBI. 3 Errors at 1B in 16 games.


I just vomited.

He serves no purpose on this team. Jason Giambi has a hold on 1B right now, with Wilson Betemit backing him up. It's time for Shelley to go back down to AAA where he belongs. Bring up speedy OF Brett Gardner or INF Alberto Gonzalez. Now.


(Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)


UPDATE: June 13th, 4:09 PM

According to Peter Abraham's blog, the Yankees have sent down Shelley Duncan and called up INF Alberto Gonzalez. I guess Cashman read my blog. =)